Judged

Sad but true in so many lives.  We can do better.

Which Came First...The Berean or The Outcast?

I think most of us who find ourselves here can identify with both the Berean and the Outcast.  I was pondering the idea...do Bereans become Outcasts?  Or do Outcasts become Bereans?

Be·re·an  noun \bəˈrēən\

In the bible, the Bereans were the people who lived in the city of Berea (present day northern Greece).

Easton's Bible Dictionary describes Berea as:

“A city of Macedonia to which Paul with Silas and Timotheus went when persecuted at Thessalonica (Acts 17:10, 13), and from which also he was compelled to withdraw, when he fled to the sea-coast and thence sailed to Athens (14, 15). Sopater, one of Paul's companions belonged to this city, and his conversion probably took place at this time (Acts 20:4). It is now called Verria.”

In Acts 17:11-13 , Luke writes:

And the people of Berea were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul’s message. They searched the Scriptures day after day to see if Paul and Silas were teaching the truth. As a result, many Jews believed, as did many of the prominent Greek women and men. But when some Jews in Thessalonica learned that Paul was preaching the word of God in Berea, they went there and stirred up trouble. (NLT)

A Berean is simply a Christian that compares EVERYTHING they are taught to the Bible as the final authority.

Characteristics of the Berean:

• She/he is eager for the Word of God (synonyms of eager: crazy, desirous, enthusiastic, excited, greedy, hungry, pumped, raring, thirsty, voracious)
• He/she searches the scriptures daily (Doesn’t rely only on others for learning)
• She/he uses discernment (He/she is not influenced by fame, prestige or influence of the preacher or leader, only the word, and judges things according to that standard)
• He/she believes the Word, and influences others to believe the truth (v. 12)
• She/he is willing to suffer for the faith (v. 13 and see below)

I recently read this old post, More Roles in a Toxic Faith System – Enabler, Victim, and Outcast, at  The Wartburg Watch  about the role of “The Outcast” in the book Toxic Faith by Stephen Arteburn and Jack Felton.

Outcast noun \out-kast\

Dictionary.com defines outcast as:

1. "a person who is rejected or cast  out, as from home orsociety: In the beginning the area was settled by outcasts,adventurers, and felons.
2. a homeless wanderer; vagabond.
3. rejected matter; refuse."

The Outcast (quoted from TWW which quoted the book):

"Of the five roles in the toxic-faith system, only one is not a religious addict or bound by toxic faith. In most toxic systems, someone can usually see the problem and confront it. Unwilling to play the games of the persecutors and co-conspirators, the person becomes an outcast.

The people who stand up for what is right and challenge the system lose their jobs, friends, and church. They become lone voices in the wilderness, crying out for change that will not come as long as the persecutor dictates power, the co-conspirators manipulate the system, the enablers allow it to continue, and the victims fall in line with blind faith. When outcasts surface, they are identified as TROUBLEMAKERS and pushed out of the system as soon as possible." (p. 201)

Characteristics of the Outcast: (p. 203)

• Is not a religious addict
• Does not possess a toxic faith
• Willingly stands alone
• Stands up for what is right
• Is willing to be rejected by others in the toxic-faith system
• Can discern right from wrong
• Commits to leaders having integrity
• Refuses to be victimized by false teaching and lack of integrity
• Speaks out for truth
• Usually loses a job within a toxic organization over concern for it
• Suffers rejection by friends after challenging the leadership of those in the toxic-faith system
• Often is treated as a leper
• Is begged by others in the toxic-faith system to support the persecutor
• Endures shame for actions
• Refuses to respect or be manipulated by those in the toxic-faith system
• Sees the truth and acts on it even if it produces great personal pain
• Interprets reality for self
• Is motivated to protect people from spiritual fraud
• Is very dedicated to God and the people who seek a relationship with him
• Commands respect of others for courage

"In a toxic faith system, no one is allowed to disagree.  If they ever try to speak out, they are labeled as complainers, negative thinkers, and not team players.  "Loyalty is equated with blind faith and complete agreement with the leader".  (p. 202) 

  

"Outcasts who challenge the delusion of the system are discredited immediately.  The toxic-faith system creates a lose-lose situation where the outcasts must give up perceptions of reality or be willing to face complete rejection.  Abandonment becomes the reward for trying to correct the ministry. 

Outcasts can interpret reality for themselves.  Even when their perception of reality contradicts that of hundreds and thousands of followers, they can clearly see the problems and press for solutions to those problems.  Outcasts are unimpressed by position or personhood.  They love God and want to protect his people and his institutions from spiritual fraud. 

Those who are so dedicated to God have little difficulty seeing others' dedication to ego and empires.  Yet they are forced to suffer for what they see because they refuse to watch people live a lie and abuse others.  No toxic-faith system can handle this keen insight and dedication to truth.  They must place their jobs and the church they love on the altar of sacrifice as they are forced to move on to a place free of toxic faith."  (p. 202)

I personally believe it can go either way.  My husband was a Berean first, and because he refused to submit to teaching that was not in line with the Word, he became the Outcast.  I think for me, it happened simultaneously!  As I began to question, I began to search the scriptures (Berean-ish), and soon became the Outcast as well.  I am forever grateful!  It is one of the most valuable life lessons I have ever learned, and I am a different (perhaps better) person because of it.

The authors of Toxic Faith offer this hope for us Berean-Outcasts:

"God honors those who are willing to sacrifice their comfort on the altar of what is right.  God has a special place in his heart for the heroes of a toxic-faith system.   Those who stand up for God and tell the world the emperor has no clothes will receive their reward sooner or later."  (p. 202)

A Letter to Our Sisters

One of the main reasons I am doing this is for the women who I left behind.  My heart breaks for and I continually pray for these wonderful ladies who did what was expected of them.  May you find your way to true life and freedom.  

My new friend,  Christine , has something important to say to our sisters at Mars Hill:

"So, to women within Mars Hill, or any other community, who struggle with pervasive feelings of guilt and shame, who find themselves confessing and repenting but never feeling any better, who struggle with wanting to submit to their husbands (or who perhaps find a relief in submitting out of a fear of their own competence), I offer this: You can trust yourself. There’s a strong Biblical basis for you trusting yourself. I believe that your discontent is telling you something important. I think your so-called sinful desires that never really go away are not actually sin, but the imprint of God, the voice of the Spirit you received at both birth and baptism, guiding you in that still and silent way towards true life and freedom. Many of your sisters and brothers in Christ have held this theology of self-love, self-trust, and original goodness throughout the centuries. It is as legitimate as the messages you hear from your pulpit, just preached a little more quietly.

Get to know your own wise and trustworthy heart. There will be times where your behavior is not in line with your heart, and other times when you act on your desires in a misguided and even harmful way, but the solution always lies in listening more closely to the heart, not modifying the behavior. The Spirit of God resides within you, the image of God is imprinted on you, so dig through the junk that covers it up, and pursue your own heart. And, let me know how it goes."

Read Christine's full post:  A MESSAGE TO DISCONTENTED CHRISTIAN WOMEN

Dear Church: Shut Up and Listen!

Dianna Anderson wrote this over at MPT:

http://matthewpaulturner.net/jesus-needs-new-pr/why-the-church-needs-to-shut-up-and-listen-a-guest-post

Makes me think of this:

Do You?

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings ~ Maya Angelou


The free bird leaps
on the back of the wind
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wings
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings
with fearful trill
of the things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill for the caged bird
sings of freedom

The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

Beauty from Ashes – Good News for the Oppressed

Isaiah 61:1-9

I have been thinking about this scripture a lot lately.  The first part is actually talking about Jesus, and is a prophecy about him that he then quotes in Luke 4:18. I have read this scripture many, many times, but in light of the last week or so, I see it differently.  The beginning is talking about Jesus, but isn’t our life purpose to be sanctified to be more like Him?

¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is upon me, 
      for the LORD has anointed me 
      to bring good news to the poor. 
   He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted 
      and to proclaim that captives will be released 
      and prisoners will be freed.^[a] 
 2 He has sent me to tell those who mourn 
      that the time of the LORD’s favor has come,^[b] 
      and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies. 

Is it not MY responsibility to bring Good News to the poor, to comfort the brokenhearted, to proclaim FREEDOM to those held captive?  How can I best do that in the context of my life?

 ³ To all who mourn in Israel,^[c] 
      he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, 
   a joyous blessing instead of mourning, 
      festive praise instead of despair. 
   In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks 
      that the LORD has planted for his own glory.

There are many lessons that have come out of the MH experience.  The Lord, in Isaiah, offers us beauty for ashes.  So here is my list of beautiful things that have come from the ashes of our MH experience:

• I have become a Berean alongside my husband (he’s always been one) Acts 17:11
• I have fallen in love with and learned to trust and run to the Word of God and want to live the Spirit-led life. I am grateful for and eager for the Holy Spirit’s direction, comfort, ministry and presence in my life. It is something I now know I believe in with such conviction that nobody will ever be able to convince me of anything else.
• I trust the gift of discernment God has given me.
• The realization and true conviction that I want to train my kids in godliness through my example and I want them to see me live out my faith in the context of everyday life, with everyday people. I do not want them to be in a church where they are taught elitism, but rather want them in a church where they are taught about the mercy, grace and love of God and how those gifts of God spurn us into holy obedience not out of fear, but out of love and gratefulness for the gifts He has given us.
• I feel convicted to seek justice for the oppressed and spiritually abused.  I cannot stand by silently any more.  I have read many other stories, and joined the “Fellowship of the Wounded”.
• I am less judgmental and able to have compassion for those who are suffering.  I have learned that the ground is TRULY level at the foot of the cross.
• My husband and I are united in a way we never have been before.
• I have (finally!) put my priorities in the right order.  My relationship with God (not the church), my husband, my kids, my extended family and friends, and then church.
• I no longer hold pastors who are in the spotlight in high esteem only because they are in the spotlight.
• I will never, out of desperation, accept instant friendships as being real.  True friendship develops over time.

What about you?  What beauty have you found in the ashes of your experience?

Questions

Yesterday I shared my story on The Wartburg Watch.  I am grateful to Deb and Dee for helping me find the courage to speak out and tell my story.  Today, I am very discouraged.  I guess I had the expectation that the telling of our story would be met with outrage. Battle cries.  Compassion.  A massive outpouring of support. The people at TWW have been amazing and supportive.  Beyond that, the silence has been deafening.

I spent the last several months asking God what I was supposed to do with this experience. What was the purpose? Why did it happen?  How can believers do this to other believers?

Is anyone listening? I am wondering where I go from here?  Do I keep shouting it from the rooftops? Do place it on the altar?

 Do I ask the hard questions of the people who have harmed me? Do I even bother when I know that doing so is risking further abuse?  Am I willing to risk them diverging private information about my husband and myself?  Did they do so already? Is it really possible to maintain the one friendship I still have, when I cannot be myself and express my pain?

Will others share their stories?  Is the pain so deep and the fear so great that they can’t?

How can I best glorify God in this situation?

Mars Hill Discipline Contract Makes It's Way Into the Light

A young man named Andrew who was a member at Mars Hill Ballard campus for approximately two years has come forward with a discipline contract he was given by elders at the Ballard campus.

The discipline contract is available in it's entirety and private follow up letter to members of MH posted on the City instructing them on how to properly deal with Andrew in public are available on Matthew Paul Turner's Blog.

Matthew 18:15 - "If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back."

Matthew Paul Turner - Mark Driscoll Part 1
Matthew Paul Turner - Mark Driscoll Part 2

Why We Are Here

Welcome to Mars Hill Refuge. We exist to allow a place for people who have left Mars Hill to tell their stories. This is meant to be a safe haven for those who have been wounded by their experience with Mars Hill Church. We have our own story (see Our Story). We have found many stories in various places on the internet, but we believe that those who are starting their "exodus" from Mars Hill need a place to find stories like theirs. When we started seeing red flags, we were very confused and felt "crazy" because you become so immersed in Mars Hill "culture" that you are not sure... 


We have no desire to be a watchdog blog.  While we do feel that there are many things wrong at Mars Hill and with Mark Driscoll's twisted "gospel", we do not want to focus on him but on becoming more Christ-like and helping others discern the truth that sets them free. There are many wonderful blogs that intelligently address these issues.  If you would like to participate in those discussions, you can find links to them on our "Things We Like" page.


Would you like to tell your story?  Please click on the "More Stories" link for more information.