Kevin Potts' Story

 I left in 2008 from Mars Hill Church. Their culture of abuse is frightening in its implications. Everything said on your blog [the Wartburg Watch], on Matthew Paul Turner's site, and on the Stranger is alarmingly accurate: the members are not encouraged to stand up to the leadership when it's acting with wrong motivations or wrong actions, they are told to remain quiet and to trust the leadership. There is no body to hold the leadership accountable to, and the church's authority structure is such that the only people to go to if you have an issue with one or more of its pastors is, unsurprisingly, another pastor. I can't imagine this being an environment, for anyone who takes a few moments to consider its implications, where anyone would feel safe expressing concerns about the leadership, let alone about Mark Driscoll.


For myself, my story is perhaps one of their earlier examples. At the time, I had been a member for nearly 8 years, having started at Mars Hill in 2000 and becoming a member just two months later with a much less rigorous membership process (which amounted to a quick 2-hour lesson from Driscoll on church leadership's structure, an indication of what being a member meant, handing out membership covenants to those attending, and letting us decide on our own if we wanted to become members). I had been having misgivings about the growth of the church and the increasing separation between the leadership and the congregation, but had largely kept this to myself.

Driscoll, in 2008, was preparing a sermon series entitled "Ask Anything", the intent being to set up a website where questions could be posted and voted on, with the top 5 questions (those that received the most votes) being the ones that Mark would build his preaching series on. Anonymous comments were allowed due to the software that was being used, and people used this to start bringing up questions about the firing of Paul Petry and probation of Bent Meyer that they felt they couldn't ask in the church itself, since they had been directly instructed by (then) pastor X, in an open letter to the members via the password-protected members' website (The City hadn't yet come into being, though it was close at the time), to remain quiet on the issue while the leadership worked to produce a unified document explaining their actions.

I made one comment on this site under the pseudonym of Kel, and had no further comments published. At the time, one person was using the title of "Concerned" in the comments, and was raising a bit more of a stink, though with some thoughtful and probing questions.

Around this time, I decided to transition away from the main Ballard campus over to the then-titled Wedgwood Campus, as it was geographically closer to where I lived (the campus became the Lake City Campus, which is now closed; its staff were largely absorbed into the Shoreline campus). I was serving as a stage manager in the morning for the Ballard campus, and had an exit interview with the head of the production department, XX. In this exit interview, a discussion of my discomfort with how the Petry/Meyer issue had been handled arose. I made a statement of "I have no interest in causing division. It would be easy to do so with how well connected I am in the church, but I have no interest in doing so."

This was communicated to senior leadership as "Kevin Potts indicated he's going to cause division in the church."

Shortly after that, I received an e-mail from the Pastor of Technology (and creator of The City). He asked me point-blank if I was "Concerned", the poster raising issues on the Ask Anything site. I indicated to him directly that I wasn't. A couple of days later he responded and indicated he thought I was, in fact, "Concerned", as that individual was making statements that echoed my exit interview with XX, as well as a statement I had made on the members' site in response to one member indicating it would be a shame if the leadership had to start tracking IP addresses between member posts and the anonymous comments on Ask Anything in order to figure out who were random posters and who were disgruntled members hiding behind pseudonyms. I indicated this wasn't a course that was wise to take, as there were people upset with the leadership, and such an action wouldn't engender the trust the leadership needed to get Mars Hill through the trying situation at the time.

This, according to Pastor of Tech, was me displaying an "unhealthy distrust for the leadership" at Mars Hill (eerily echoing the accusations levied against Paul Petry and Bent Meyer), and it was indicated that my membership was being put on suspension pending a meeting, as three elders had apparently concluded I was "in sin" (without ever having spoken to me first to hear my side of the story).

After much prayer and consideration, I chose to conclude my membership at Mars Hill Church. I sent an e-mail to XXX, as well as the then-head pastor of the campus I was transferring to. No "discipline contracts" were offered to me, as I don't think they'd have thought of something like that at the time. Some momentary communiques occurred between me and Pastor Q (who is now a Mars Hill pastor at their Albuquerque campus in New Mexico) shortly after both the Stranger and the Seattle Times had gotten ahold of me, as my name was on a list someone had circulated to those papers as people of interest to speak with regarding the truth, as we understood it, behind Paul and Bent's dismissals.

When I had spoken with Jonah Spangenthal-Lee from the Stranger, and Janet Tu from the Seattle Times, I had indicated in both instances that I didn't want my name used in their articles. I was still, at the time, living in a house owned by Mark Driscoll in Montlake, and didn't want my living situation jeopardized, as I didn't trust Mark or his assistant to do the right thing in light of this. In both discussions with the reporters, I only confirmed what they already knew, referring them to Mars Hill Church and Bent Meyer and Paul Petry for further discussion. Q eventually called me to find out if I was, in fact, the person who had spoken with the Stranger and the Seattle Times (and I doubt I was the only one who had), and I confirmed it for him, at which point he proceeded to lay a guilt trip on me, indicating I needed to go to the church and ask the forgiveness of the people I had harmed in talking with The Stranger (who he was sure to note to me "was no friend of Mars Hill, and no friend of Christ") and the Seattle Times.

Keep in mind I was already no longer a member at Mars Hill at this time, and yet he thought that he could still control me to the point of having me apologize to people I was no longer involved with in an attempt to repent of sin that it seemed he was the only one accusing me of, he and those he represented.

At a later point, Molly Worthen from the New York Times Sunday Magazine spoke with me. At that point all ties with Mars Hill were severed for me, and I would have suffered no ill consequences for speaking with her. I gave her my full permission to use my name in her article, which can be found at http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/11/magazine/11punk-t.html?_r=1&pagewanted=4 Curiously, she chose not to use my name, though on the 4th page of the article in the link I gave you, I'm the member she referenced in the third paragraph, the member who "complained on an online message board and instantly found his membership privileges suspended".

I was able to get out before they implemented the kind of behavior that Andrew is now experiencing. I'm horrified to hear he's experiencing it. Feel free to use my name and my story here (though you may want to remove the pastors' names, as I have no ability to authorize their use) in a blog post if it would be remotely helpful to anyone else who's going through the horrors of attempting to separate from Mars Hill Church.

A Letter to Our Sisters

One of the main reasons I am doing this is for the women who I left behind.  My heart breaks for and I continually pray for these wonderful ladies who did what was expected of them.  May you find your way to true life and freedom.  

My new friend,  Christine , has something important to say to our sisters at Mars Hill:

"So, to women within Mars Hill, or any other community, who struggle with pervasive feelings of guilt and shame, who find themselves confessing and repenting but never feeling any better, who struggle with wanting to submit to their husbands (or who perhaps find a relief in submitting out of a fear of their own competence), I offer this: You can trust yourself. There’s a strong Biblical basis for you trusting yourself. I believe that your discontent is telling you something important. I think your so-called sinful desires that never really go away are not actually sin, but the imprint of God, the voice of the Spirit you received at both birth and baptism, guiding you in that still and silent way towards true life and freedom. Many of your sisters and brothers in Christ have held this theology of self-love, self-trust, and original goodness throughout the centuries. It is as legitimate as the messages you hear from your pulpit, just preached a little more quietly.

Get to know your own wise and trustworthy heart. There will be times where your behavior is not in line with your heart, and other times when you act on your desires in a misguided and even harmful way, but the solution always lies in listening more closely to the heart, not modifying the behavior. The Spirit of God resides within you, the image of God is imprinted on you, so dig through the junk that covers it up, and pursue your own heart. And, let me know how it goes."

Read Christine's full post:  A MESSAGE TO DISCONTENTED CHRISTIAN WOMEN

Kaelee's Story

My husband and I began attending Mars Hill at a very vulnerable time in our lives. We were newly engaged and had both recently moved out of our parents homes to start life in a big city. My husband's best friend and his wife had begun attending Mars Hill and loved it. They invited us along and we decided to go with them. At this point in my life I was surrounded by people that attended Mars Hill. My roommate was involved in a community group and they would be in our apartment often and pressure me to join. I had several coworkers who attended Mars Hill who very subtly would question my faith because I wasn't attending Mars Hill. I was very skeptical, but I also really wanted to fit in. I ignored my feelings and gave in to what people expected of me hoping it would help me avoid conflict. I was young, and I realize now how naive that mindset was.
       We were attending Mars Hill every Sunday but we weren't involved in any way. In fact I usually would subtly try and be late so we could avoid the, "Meet and greet" I felt so much subtle judgement every time I shook someones hand and told them that no, we hadn't joined a community group yet. I also saw fear in the eyes of others like me when they went to shake my hand and expected the same guilt trip for not joining a community group, for wanting to attend the church a few times and decide if it was the right fit. Every sermon was painful for me. It's really hard for me to explain honestly. I had been attending church since I was very young and with that church I had always felt a sense of peace. I didn't always see eye to eye with everyone there and sometimes I felt judged by other members, but it didn't change the fact that my heart felt like it was in the right place. With Mars Hill I just felt sick. The messages didn't move me like the messages at  my previous church had. The final straw for me was the sermon Mark delivered after going to Haiti for Earthquake relief. It really bothered me that he only focused on other churches during his trip. So many people were affected by that earthquake and he preached as though only other Christians there were worth his time. Then at the end of the sermon he yelled for 5-10 minutes about how people were not giving enough money to Mars Hill and if I remember correctly, stormed off the stage. The church I had spent most of my life in so far had never asked anyone for money. They didn't even pass around an offering bucket. We had a love box in the back and I never heard my pastor ask for money once. He would speak about projects they were hoping to undertake and how they were praying that God would provide the means, and God always did. After that sermon I talked to my husband (Fiancé at the time) and we both decided that Mars Hill wasn't the place for us.
       I wish that was the end of my story, but unfortunately it is not. At that time my husband's best friend and his wife were becoming more and more involved in the church. They were becoming members but we were still hanging out with them and everything seemed fine. Fast forward a month or so and this friend of my husband asks him out to coffee. My husband goes and comes back visibly upset. We go out for dinner where he tells me that his best friend had said that my husband loved me too much, was idolizing me, that I had gone off the deep end, and then started bad-mouthing everything Jeffrey had learned from a previous mentor in our old church. This was very hard for me to believe. I told my husband I thought his friend was just confused and even though his words were incorrect they were most likely spoken out of love. I told my husband he should listen to his own heart and tell his friend that he disagreed but not to let it ruin their friendship. They both loved and respected each other very much, I believed they could both move past this.
       Unfortunately that wasn't what happened. Weeks and months went by where we saw less and less of this couple, which is rather extraordinary since we lived in the same building and frequented the same coffee shop a couple of blocks down the road. Before this event the couple had named us the Godparents of their first child. They had helped us find our apartment. My husband got the job he has now with the help of his friend, and they still work together. The wife had designed and made my wedding dress. This wasn't a shallow relationship. We would text them and ask them to hang out and receive no response. I would see either of them in the halls of our apartment building and wave and they would awkwardly wave back and walk away with no attempt at conversation. I remember the Fourth of July last year we all stood on our roof to watch the fireworks. They were up there with their community group and ignored us when we walked past. At some point the husband did come over and talk to Jeffrey a bit, but I felt he did his best to ignore my presence, even when I spoke directly to him. After about five minutes his wife walked over and pulled him away without saying a word to my husband or myself. It was that night I realized it was actually over. They had cut us out because we didn't want to be a part of their church. I went onto Facebook to write a message to his wife only to realize she had removed me from her Facebook friends. I went onto Twitter and saw they had both unfollowed me.
       I don't want to act like I was a perfect saint during this time frame. I was at times a flakey friend, I would forget to call when I said I would or cancel plans last second. I completely forgot to ever write the wife a thank you card for my wedding dress, but had expressed my gratitude verbally numerous times. I looked at all of these things hoping to find something I had done wrong that would explain their actions, but it still never made sense. My value in myself was already dangerously low and I do believe these events helped the onset of my eating disorder. I am in no way blaming them, my eating disorder is my own personal responsibility, but when they looked at me and found me worthless it confirmed everything I had always believed about myself. I was worthless and I needed to find a way to become worthy. I shifted all of my focus in life to becoming thin. Thinking about anything else hurt too much.
       I am currently in recovery and it is going really well. I am happy now and no longer believe I have to hide my true self and feelings from people. I still have some anger for Mars Hill, but I am working on it. I am working on forgiveness. I don't know if I should try and talk to those friends ever again. I don't know if that would be helpful or harmful since it seems they have just gotten deeper and deeper in the church. I hope that someday there will be resolution or closure, but right now I just can't imagine how that would even happen.

Our Story

Here is are easy links to our story:

Sophia's Story

UnReformed's Story

The Stranger Writes: Church or Cult?

Brendan Kiley, writer for The Stranger (and indie newspaper in the Seattle area), addresses the question we have all been asking ourselves.

The Stranger Article: Church or Cult?

Why We Are Here

Welcome to Mars Hill Refuge. We exist to allow a place for people who have left Mars Hill to tell their stories. This is meant to be a safe haven for those who have been wounded by their experience with Mars Hill Church. We have our own story (see Our Story). We have found many stories in various places on the internet, but we believe that those who are starting their "exodus" from Mars Hill need a place to find stories like theirs. When we started seeing red flags, we were very confused and felt "crazy" because you become so immersed in Mars Hill "culture" that you are not sure... 


We have no desire to be a watchdog blog.  While we do feel that there are many things wrong at Mars Hill and with Mark Driscoll's twisted "gospel", we do not want to focus on him but on becoming more Christ-like and helping others discern the truth that sets them free. There are many wonderful blogs that intelligently address these issues.  If you would like to participate in those discussions, you can find links to them on our "Things We Like" page.


Would you like to tell your story?  Please click on the "More Stories" link for more information.