Welcome, Jezebel Friends!

Life on Mars Hill illustration by Ryan Brown

Thanks for clicking through to check out this blog. I started this blog almost two years ago, after telling my story anonymously an another blog. I  Since I left, I had struggled with what to do with what had occurred. My husband and I wanted to just forget about it and move on, but based on stories we had come across, we knew that our experience was not an isolated incident. What kind of damage is this causing to others?  How can we just walk away and be glad that we "dodged the bullet"?

I had already submitted my story several days before it came out.  I simultaneously started the Mars Hill Refuge blog, which I thought would be some obscure little piece of the internet. I had no idea that just one day prior to my story being told, Matthew Paul Turner would write about Andrew's discipline contract and shunning.  I could not have imagined the chain of events that would follow.

Shortly after the release of my story, The Stranger wrote an article about Lance.  In that article, my blog was linked.  This was followed by The Slate Article, which was picked up by the Huffington Post.  Then many of us were contacted to participate in the KOMO News Story.

The result of all of this unsolicited publicity following the telling of my story has been a response I couldn't have predicted.  People have come forward with their stories in large numbers.  Some are posted here on the site, and some have been shared privately.  The response has been overwhelming.

Here are the links to all stories that can be found on the internet, or have been shared with us.  We post these so that you can read for yourself and make your own determination about Mars Hill.  Some of the Yelp links have positive stories, and if you would like to read more, I am sure you can find them on the Mars Hill Website.

Starred stories are MUST READS!

*Andrew's Story (Part 1)

• MH Discipline Contract
• Andrew's Story (Part 2)
• Letter to MH Members (to shun Andrew)
• Mars Hill's Response to Andrew's Story 
• A Second Response from Mars Hill
• The Stranger Clarifies They Did Contact Mars Hill

*Paul & Jonna Petry's Story 

UnReformed's Story

*Kip's Story 

Lance's Story (The Stranger Article)

Rebecca's Story

Bent Meyer's Story

*Amy's Story

Kaelee's Story

Sophia's Story

Kevin Potts' Story

Wenatchee's Story 

Mars Hill Departed Part 1
Mars Hill Departed Part 2

Frankie's Story

Angie's Story

ELP's Story (Anonymous)

Multiple Stories @ Freedom4Captives

Stories on Yelp - Ballard Campus

Stories on Yelp - Downtown Campus

Stories on Yelp - West Seattle Campus

Stories on Yelp - Bellevue Campus

Stories on Yelp - Albuquerque Campus

Stories on Yelp - Orange County Campus

The next post is a list of articles and blog posts about Mark Driscoll.

You Decide!

I think everyone needs to read and research for themselves. Here is a comprehensive link-up of articles, blog posts, etc. about Mars Hill Church and Mark Driscoll.  This will remain a page on the site for easy reference.

Women's Issues
Mars Hill Church Leadership Booklet

Resources made available by MHC and Mark Driscoll:
Mars Hill Church website
Mark Driscoll's recent sermons
Mark Driscoll's sermons on Marriage and Women and Marriage and Men (3/09)
Mark Driscoll preaches against homosexuality (5/10)
Mark Driscoll's website (est. 2011)
Mark Driscoll's public FaceBook wall
Mark Driscoll's non-apology apology following "Effemigate" (7/11)
Mark Driscoll's sermon on sexual assault - Not completely terrible, but still some problematic paternalistic aspects. (2/12)
Porn Again Christian by Mark Driscoll - Free e-book on men, pornography, masturbation, and sex. (2008)

Neutral Resources:
MHC Wikipedia entry
Mark Driscoll Wikipedia entry

Survivor Testimony & Spiritual Abuse Resources:
Mars Hill Refuge - MHC survivor blog (wife of Two Clear Eyes). (est. 2012)
Two Clear Eyes - MHC survivor blog (husband of Mars Hill Refuge). He offers a detailed, articulate account of his experiences at MHC. (est. 2012)
Freedom For Captives - MHC survivor blog. Lots of in-depth discussion and resources on warning signs of spiritual abuse. (est. 2009)
Praying Heart - MHC survivor blog. (est. 2008)
Matthew Paul Turner/Jesus Needs New PR: A former MHC member ("Andrew") goes public about his experience with church discipline [1, 2] (1/12)
The Wartburg Watch: On MHC's response to exposure of church discipline procedure, plus more survivor testimony (1/12)
Slate.com: A Shunning in Seattle - some more clarification on the case of "Andrew". (2/12)
Former MHC pastor Bent Meyer comments on some issues he sees still ongoing within MHC, and his own firing in 2007 (1/12)
The Stranger: Another former MHC member ("Lance") goes public with some jaw-dropping testimony. (2/12)
Mars Hill Refuge: More survivor testimony ("Kaelee") (2/12)
The Wartburg Watch: How to Minimize Damage When Resigning From a Mark Driscoll-like Church (2/12)
Wenatchee the Hatchet: Technology and the Illusion of Control - evaluating the veracity of survivor testimony and MHC's failed attempt at keeping disciplinary matters private. (2/12)
Joyful Exiles - Former MHC elders go public with emails and documents they received from the church at the time of their firing in 2007. (launched 3/12)
Matthew Paul Turner: Exorcism at Mars Hill - A woman tells the story of her unwilling exorcism from "sexual demons" at the hands of Mark Driscoll. (6/12)
Pure Provender - General resource on spiritual abuse.

Blogs regularly featuring posts on MHC and Mark Driscoll:
Are Women Human? (tags: Mark Driscoll, Mars Hill Church)
The Wartburg Watch
Matthew Paul Turner - Jesus Needs New PR (tag: Mark Driscoll)
Wenatchee the Hatchet - former member of MHC who left on reasonably good terms.
Driscoll Watch - a blog specifically devoted to respectfully refuting Driscoll's claims about Catholicism.
Driscontinuity - fact-checking Mark Driscoll.
Is Mark Driscoll a Bully? - A record of ex-MHC member testimony and Driscoll quotes.

Articles & Blog Posts:
Seattle P-I: Mars Hill pastor responds to uproar over blog posts on women (12/06)
Denny Burk: Mark Driscoll on Women in Ministry (7/07)
The Stranger: Fired and Brimstone: Mars Hill Megachurch Has No Room for Two Dissenting Pastors (11/07)
Obscene Beauty: Does Mark Driscoll believe in a God of Love or Hate? (11/07)
Praying Heart: Pastor Mark Driscoll... "Jockeying for and Abusing Power?" - on new MHC bylaws and consolidation of power. (1/08)
Praying Heart: Does Mark Driscoll Continue to Lie to Mars Hill Members? - concerning the reasons behind the firing of two MHC pastors. (3/08)
Christianity Today: A Jesus for Real Men: What the new masculinity movement gets right and wrong. (4/08)
New York Times: Who Would Jesus Smack Down? (1/09)
Cathy Mickels: Mark Driscoll: is he qualified to lead? (1/09)
Experimental Theology: Thoughts on Mark Driscoll ... while I'm knitting - thoughtful discussion on gender and Christianity, albeit with with some problematic language (w/Driscoll video clip). (2/09)
Freedom 4 Captives: Cult-Like Spiritual Abuse Issues & By Laws In a Nutshell - positively hair-raising! (4/09)
Are Women Human?: Punishing gender-variant masculinity (9/10)
Christian Post: Driscoll, MacDonald Defend Multisite Church Strategy - Driscoll claims his congregation are less "addicted" to him than those at a regular church. (9/10)
Are Women Human?: Mark Driscoll is not God (3/11)
Shawn Wamsley: Mars Hill Church, Mark Driscoll, and Gender Roles - Driscoll's problematic equation of masculinity with agency. (4/11)
The Broken Telegraph: Mars Hill, Mark Driscoll, and Church as a Spectacle (5/11)
Matt Morin: The Confessions of a Cage Fighter: Masculinity, Misogyny, and the Fear of Losing Control (6/11)
Are Women Human?: Dianna Anderson: Dear Mr. Driscoll (7/11)
Joy In This Journey: Don't Take Pot-Shots at Worship Leaders, er, I Mean, ANYONE - Effemigate. (7/11)
Rachel Held Evans: Mark Driscoll is a bully. Stand up to him. - Effemigate. (7/11)
Love Radically: Mark Driscoll's Missed Opportunity - Effemigate. (7/11)
Here I Blog: Mark Driscoll On Prophetic Dreams and Seeing the Future - Driscoll's gift of prophecy allows him to "see" his parishioners engaged in sexual sin (w/extended quotes, audio and video clips). (8/11)
Question @Yahoo Answers: Why do Pastors Mark Driscoll and Perry Noble have such similar sermons? (8/11)
Jesus Needs New PR: Mark Driscoll 'sees' things (9/11)
Alisa Harris: To the Child Star of PastorMark.TV - what does it mean that Driscoll's 14-year-old daughter will be blogging on his website? (9/11)
Seattle P-I: Seattle pastor Mark Driscoll says yoga is demonic - but not MMA? Both are rooted in Eastern mysticism, but apparently only the one "for women" is demonic. (11/11)
Christian Pop Culture (Brad Williams): Dear Driscoll, MMA is not a Measure of Manhood — Jesus is (11/11)
Wenatchee the Hatchet: Publisher's Weekly on Mark and Grace Driscoll's Real Marriage, and a phrase to be considered - what are the implications of Driscoll's confession that he made "a god" of sex? (12/11)
The American Jesus: In Defense of Christian Bloggers - critique of The Elephant Room round table discussion. (1/12)
Krish Kandiah: Driscoll and Britain (1/12)
Kinnon: The UK Real Interview – Was it of the Undisciplined or the Undiscipled? (1/12)
The Friendly Atheist: Did Anyone Else Know Pastor Mark Driscoll Was Sexist? (1/12)
The Friendly Atheist: The Christian Indoctrination Will Continue Forever (1/12)
The Wartburg Watch: Driscoll, Acts 29 Deny Haiti Relief Because of a Female Pastor (1/12)
Church Leaders: Driscoll on Sex, Critics, and When to Cross the Line in the Pulpit - Driscoll talks about Real Marriage and his critics. In question #4, he dismisses any criticism directed at him. (1/12)
Driscontinuity: Ted Bundy is Not a Prop - refuting Driscoll's "facts" about Ted Bundy. (1/12)
Strange Figures: In the name of love, should we just keep quiet? - On letting churches get away with spiritual abuse. (1/12)
Covenant of Love: Never Mind Andrew’s Sin, What About Mars Hill’s Sin? analysis of MHC's interpretation of scripture surrounding church discipline. (1/12)
Big Circumstance: Mark Driscoll And The Mars Hill Churches: When Discipline Becomes Control Becomes...? (1/12)
Searching for Chet Baker: The Dangers of Mark Driscoll & The Mars Hill Church (1/12)
Notes From the Well: concerns about mark driscoll, mars hill church and the acts 29 network - criticism from a former Driscoll supporter. (1/12)
Cushman Chronicles: Thoughts on Mars Hill and Andrew... - a former Driscoll fan responds scripturally to the MHC discipline controversy. (1/12)
Wenatchee the Hatchet: Mark Driscoll & Church Discipline - was the recently publicised instance of MHC discipline the result of nepotism? (1/12)
Christian Pop Culture: From Fanboy to Frustrated: A Plea To Mark Driscoll (2/12)
The Stranger (Brendan Kiley): Mars Hill Wants to Reconcile (3/12)
The Friendly Atheist (Amanda): Mars Hill Church Responds to Criticism (3/12)

Reviews:
Yelp.com reviews of MHC by members and visitors
Ship of Fools Mystery Worshipper on Ballard campus MHC service (1/08)
Are Women Human? on MHC's God's Work, Our Witness documentary [1, 2] (12/11)
The Friendly Atheist: Grace and Mark Driscoll Write a How-Not-To Book on Marriage - review of the first chapter of Real Marriage (12/11)
Dianna E. Anderson on the first chapter of Real Marriage, especially noting the framing of Grace Driscoll's sexual assault only in terms of how it affected Mark. [1, 2] (12/11)
Rachel Held Evans: Driscoll, "Real Marriage", and Why Being a Pastor Doesn’t Automatically Make You a Sex Therapist (1/12)
David Moore @The Burner on Real Marriage [1, 2, 3, 4] (1/12)
Word Vixen: Mark Driscoll's Real Marriage Book Review (1/12)
Sojourners: He Said, She Said: Driscoll's "Real Marriage" is Really Not (1/12)
Practical Theology for Women: Our Review of Real Marriage by Mark and Grace Driscoll (2/12)

So...Is it a Cult? Part I

photo credit: Kevin Dooley

This list of signs was taken from a Huffington Post article by Jayanti Tamm here.

Is it a Cult? The Top Ten Signs the 'Group' You've Joined is Not what It Seems

1. The leader and group are always correct and anything the leader does can be justified.
2. Questions, suggestions, or critical inquiry are forbidden.
3. Members incessantly scramble with cramped schedules and activities full of largely meaningless work based on the leader's agenda
4. Followers are meant to believe that they are never good enough.
5. Required dependency upon the leader and group for even the most basic problem-solving.
6. Reporting on members for disobedient actions or thoughts is mandated and rewarded.
7. Monetary, sexual, or servile labor is expected to gain promotion.
8. The 'outside' world -- often including family and friends -- is presented as rife with impending catastrophe, evil, and temptations.
9. Recruitment of new members is designed to be purposefully upbeat and vague about the actual operations of the leader and group.
10. Former members are shunned and perceived as hostile.

Sound familiar?

So.....Is It A Cult, Part II

Today, Rob Davis posted a blog about his experience at an Acts 29 church. He boldly named Acts 29 a cult. You may read it HERE.

Why are we so afraid of the word cult? I agree with him. It's like we can't bring ourselves to say the words. But how many of these things need to be present before we can bring ourselves to name it? A group does not have to use every single tactic to qualify.

In his post, he outlines the problematic characteristics of Acts 29 taken from The Cult Test. I have copied that list here, and applied them to Mars Hill. The comments in parenthesis are mine:

• The guru is always right (Do not question Driscoll)
• No exit. (Without permission/blessing or countless meetings and harassments)
• Cult speak.(Mars Hill has its own catch phrases and buzzwords)
• Groupthink.(Not open to variations in belief)
• Suppression of dissent. (Read the membership covenant)
• Denigration of competing sects, cults, religions, groups, or organizations. (Elitism, refers to others as fake Christians)
• Personal attacks on critics. 
• Insistence that the group is THE ONLY WAY. (Doctrine: What Christians Should Believe)
• Induction of guilt, and the use of guilt to manipulate group members. 
• Appeals to “holy” or “wise” authorities.
• Instant Community. (Community Groups)
• Surrender To The Group.
• Dual Purposes, Hidden Agendas, and Ulterior Motives.
• Deceptive Recruiting.
• Cloning — You become a clone of the group leader or other elder group members.
• You must change your beliefs to conform to the group’s beliefs.
• The Group Implants Phobias.
• The Group is Money-Grubbing.
• Intrusiveness. (CG leaders and members believe they are entitled to know your personal business)
• Disturbed Guru, Mentally Ill Leader.
• Create a sense of powerlessness, covert fear, guilt, and dependency.
• The guru or the group demands ultra-loyalty and total commitment. (Sinning through Questioning)
• Inconsistency. Contradictory Messages
• Hierarchical, Authoritarian Power Structure, and Social Castes.
• The group leader is not held accountable for his actions.
• Everybody else needs the guru to boss him around, but nobody bosses the guru around.
• The guru criticizes everybody else, but nobody criticizes the guru.
• Inability to tolerate criticism.
• Calls to Obliterate Self.
• Scapegoating and Excommunication. (multiple examples on this blog)
• You can’t make it without the group.
• The group wants to own you.
• Newcomers Need Fixing.
• Black And White Thinking
• Appropriation of all of the members’ worldly wealth.
• Making cult members work long hours for free.

I agree with all of those, but for Mars Hill, I would add the following:

• Confession Sessions (community group prayer times, redemption groups, meetings with pastors)
• Instant Intimacy (members share very vulnerable things in cg prayer time)
• A System of Punishments and Rewards (discipline contracts and titles)
• Personal testimonies of previous converts (MH has changed x,y & z's life, therefore it must be good)
• Surrender to the Group (spend more and more time with CG and use group for accountability)
• The group and its members are special (definite sense of elitism at MH)
• The group is self absorbed (they really don't help the poor, it is pretty much a closed system)
• You can't tell the truth (or we shun you, or post directions on the City of how to shun you, or lie about your character)
• Ideology over experience, observation, logic (well, yeah)
• Thought stopping language (was shut down any time I challenged the misuse of terminology to make a point)
• The guru is extra-special (he sees things, he is the only person broadcast to 4 states and 14 churches)
• Don't trust Your own mind (you are totally depraved)
• Dont trust Your own feelings (the heart is deceitful)
• You owe the group (you are accountable and must explain why you aren't there)
• Progressive indoctrination and Progressive commitments

To me, saying that an organization or church has multiple characteristics of cults, but being unwilling to call it a CULT is akin to living with a man who abuses you but being unwilling to call him ABUSIVE.

Stories of Former Mars Hill Members

Stephanie Drury over at Stuff Christian Culture Likes was asked by Thomas Nelson if she would like to review Mark Driscoll's new book, "Who Do You Think You Are?" Here is her Amazon review: "Mark Driscoll is to biblical wisdom as Richard Simmons is to cage fighting".

Here are the links to all stories that can be found on the internet, or have been shared with us.  We post these so that you can read for yourself and make your own determination about Mars Hill.  Some of the Yelp links have positive stories, and if you would like to read more, I am sure you can find them on the Mars Hill Website.

Starred stories are MUST READS!

*Andrew's Story (Part 1)

• MH Discipline Contract
• Andrew's Story (Part 2)
• Letter to MH Members (to shun Andrew)
• Mars Hill's Response to Andrew's Story 
• A Second Response from Mars Hill
• The Stranger Clarifies They Did Contact Mars Hill

*Paul & Jonna Petry's Story 

UnReformed's Story (Sophia's Husband)

*Kip's Story 

Lance's Story (The Stranger Article)

Rebecca's Story

Bent Meyer's Story

*Amy's Story

Kaelee's Story

Sophia's Story

*Erin's Story

Kevin Potts' Story

Wenatchee's Story 

Mars Hill Departed Part 1
Mars Hill Departed Part 2

Frankie's Story

Angie's Story

ELP's Story (Anonymous)

Multiple Stories @ Freedom4Captives

Stories on Yelp - Ballard Campus

Stories on Yelp - Downtown Campus

Stories on Yelp - West Seattle Campus

Stories on Yelp - Bellevue Campus

Stories on Yelp - Albuquerque Campus

Stories on Yelp - Orange County Campus


Would you like to share your story?

Please email your story to freefrommarshill@gmail.com

Please remember that your story should be free from profanity and actual names of people involved.  Also, please leave out campuses/location information as this makes it very easy to identify people involved. If you include this info we will remove it.  We will protect your identity and you may use an alias or first name only.

Bill Clem Resigns from Ballard Campus

Interesting and informative post up at Wenatchee The Hatchet about Bill Clem's resignation and change in leadership at the Ballard Campus.

Announcement from Mark Driscoll that Bill Clem is resigning leadership of Mars Hill Ballard, Alex Early replacing him

"To be absolutely clear, Pastor Bill’s transition is not the result of any conflict or sin (in fact, we will honor him publicly at all services on January 27). Mars Hill Ballard is in a season of major change. After sending out dozens of leaders, thousands of members, and millions of dollars as the longtime launching pad for a church that now spans 15 locations in four states, it’s time for Ballard to find out what the next season of fruitfulness looks like as a local church. It’s going to be a big project that takes a lot of years, energy, and effort. After months of prayerful consideration, God’s made it clear to Pastor Bill: he’s not the man to lead whatever’s next for Ballard.

I would gladly have Pastor Bill serve in another position at Mars Hill Church, but he is feeling called to something new in his next season of life. He has my full support in this decision, and though I am sad to see him go, I am forever grateful for his service. He remains my friend and should remain yours."

Rebecca's Story

Rebecca sent me her story and has also published it on her personal blog, here:
http://rebuildingrebecca.blogspot.com/2013/01/my-story-leaving-mhc.html

It has been almost 10 months since we left our former church. I've hesitated to post our story for a number of reasons, most revolving around fear. Fear is something i struggle with greatly. But as 1 John 4:18 expresses- 

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

So, here I am. I know that this will likely cause me to lose friends, at the very least to be threatened with loss of friendship, (the primary wound which has so deeply been stabbed into me and the very hardest part of deciding to speak the truth out loud- despite the cultural unacceptability of that choice.
Another blog post will be coming regarding WHY i am speaking out. But for now, here is my story. It was written in March of 2012.

Our experience with Mars Hill
We started attending Mars Hill after leaving our old church due to both a personal issue with another member and also disagreeing with the church's focus and the conviction of the Holy Spirit that we were to raise our children differently, and we wanted to find a church that met our needs in that area. It was a hard decision to make and one that we didn't take lightly. We had been there for 7 years, made a lot of friends and the kids and we, were deeply integrated into the church and its culture.

We came to Mars Hill to visit and knew immediately that THIS was the church we were supposed to be at. We quickly got connected with a community group and were accepted with open arms, 7 kids and all. I've never known such a wonderful sense of family that we've known at Mars Hill. We ate meals together, went camping together, babysat each others kids, shared our life's most intimate details. Andrew and I went to redemption group at Mars Hill, an incredible church counseling like program for victims of incest or rape (me) or addicts, and their spouses (Andy). It was in redemption group that I finally started to heal from my childhood issues that had held me hostage for so long. You can read my story if you are interested herehttp://rebuildingrebecca.blogspot.com/2011/03/my-latest-manifesto-weight-loss-sexual.html Redemption group changed my life. I made amazing friends, learned how to forgive those who have hurt me, and most importantly, really learned how to “cry out to Jesus” which for a very linear person like myself sounded hopelessly abstract before RG.

I came to LOVE Mars Hill, our local pastor, and our amazing church family. I really thought we'd be here indefinitely. But it was not to be. I'd always seen nasty Mark Driscoll comments on the internet and rejected them out of hand. Really, most of them were snarky, baseless comments from people who just plain seemed like they were trying to be mean. I was offended, and often defended him on blogs, particularly when it was clear the issues against him were baseless. When the real marriage book came out, I was excited to have gotten to be a reviewer for book sneeze and gladly reviewed the book. I really liked it and excitedly typed up a review, which I later started to regret as I read thoughtful reviews by Tim Challies, et. Al. Seen here http://www.challies.com/book-reviews/book-review-real-marriage He was clearly not being mean, He had very valid points. Other things were happening as well.

We both separately started having that naggy peace-less feeling, and I asked Andy if he had any concerns about Mars Hill. He revealed that he had and the dialogue opened and for a few months we just casually talked about things. At first, the mere thought of leaving was not even an option, I couldn't stand the thought of it, but more and more started to happen, just little things alone, but together, it was bigger. The little discussions about things I disagreed with on the City- I'd posted a few times, not to be argumentative or to rip on the church or anyone in the church but because 1. I was sincerely concerned with the direction our church was headed and 2. I think about issues through discussing issues, it helps me to analyze and the whole process of hearing it aloud when talking or seeing it printed, (even better!) helps me to deeply explore issues.

I think the first big issue I had was hearing Mark talk of the sexually explicit “visions” he'd had of coworkers and members of the church. This threw me for a huge loop, as being a Sexual abuse survivor, the idea that the leader of our church would sometimes look into someone's eyes and see abuses against them or sexual interactions they'd had truly freaked me out. Really, there were 3 options. 1. he was lying. Seems awfully far fetched to lie about though... didn't think that was the option. 2. He was given visions by God. The cessationists argue that this kind of thing doesn't happen, and i'm not willing to rule it out- No where in scripture does it say that God stopped giving people spiritual gifts, but it did seem ODD and inappropriate and very un-Godlike... still its possible, however, the final option was that his source of vision was demonic. This, more and more, is what I'm fearing is happening with Mark Driscoll. I think he's made some poor choices, allowed pride to motivate too much of his action, and has given satan and his demons an opening. I readily admit I could be wrong, but the thought is scary. That's just one issue-

Additionally, there was the fund drive in December, and feeling like the infomercial-like sermons on Mars Hill history (which in itself is surreal, and took Andy and I both aback because the history was so strange, it didn't resemble our experience with Mars Hill at our last time of attendance, It seeemed heavily edited, so many omissions, no mention of the original 3 founders, other than Mark, No Mike Gunn, no Lief Moi, it was so odd. (back in the presbyterian church in seattle days) and the sudden plea for a huge amount of funds right at Christmas time seemed a bit manipulative. I voiced concern on the city and others responded in similar ways to each other, usually just minimizing the validity of my concerns (not in a mean way) and secondly questioning my own sin in the situation. Each of these issues had nothing to do with me sinning so it was never an issue, but I did get a phone call, concerned that I was not submitting to the leadership of Mars Hill and suggesting I think about whether we really want to be here if I wasn't willing to do that.

Now, first of all, you have to understand that i'd barely HEARD of church discipline and the whole concept of “submitting to leadership” was completely new to me, so I researched a bit, tried to figure out what my responsibility toward my church was.
I talked with this friend about the history i'd had with Mark driscoll, just one time- composed of an email discussion that turned snarky and nasty on his end and how I was still a bit cautious about Mark and didn't even see him as OUR pastor, explaining how Pastor Samuel is our pastor. HE's the one who's around, he's the one we see every sunday, who's wife we know, who directs classes and helped teach redemption group and plays basketball with the guys. But she reminded me that Mark and his fellow elders were indeed our pastors too and we needed to respect their authority. I still don't see anywhere scripturally that asserts that some other man other than my husband has authority over me.

After the whole drama about the man named “Andrew” at the Ballard campus, who was excommunicated and the whole situation that ensued, late January, we've been watching both sides of the story and since the story came out- Here- if you aren't familiarhttp://matthewpaulturner.net/jesus-needs-new-pr/mark-driscolls-church-discipline-contract-looking-for-true-repentance-at-mars-hill-church-sign-on-the-dotted-line/ there's also a part 2. Mars Hill in response posted a couple of articles that you may or may not have read, clarifying their position on the whole thing and also clarifying what constituted “Church discipline”http://marshill.com/2012/01/27/church-discipline-in-the-bible andhttp://marshill.com/2012/02/13/a-response-regarding-church-discipline I was a LOT freaked after reading about Andrew's story. Andy and I had tearfully discussed what we'd read and knew that we would not be willing to sign that contract. We had a LOT of problems with it- the idea of shunning a friend was simply not acceptable to us. We didn't want to give up that much freedom. Also, the “sins” pointed out were crazy subjective and seemed to be very workable to meet whatever criteria anyone wanted them to mean, and I could easily have seen myself being considered “divisive” Anyway, I was a mess, and went out to have starbucks with a great friend who helped me to calm down, look at the situation objectively, She encouraged me that we did NOT HAVE to become members, maybe just hold off a bit, (we'd already missed several classes and I knew we'd want to retake the series anyway if we did change our minds) and see what comes. So ok, I was calmed down, and we decided to commit the issue to prayer and see if the Holy Spirit might have something for us.

When no one even FLINCHED in community group when we watched the video of Mark and Grace talking about sex, and Grace saying if you weren't doing it over 1x a week then likely there was probably a problem- I realized something was VERY very wrong here. The similar response of the group, albeit very lovingly, to 1. minimize concerns and 2. figure out how I was REALLY upset because of my own sin, not the Driscolls' It came together and I realized that this situation was out of control. This is not normal. It is not normal for a pastor and his wife to try to control how much sex members of their church have. Its extraordinarily inappropriate. The whole sex theme is entirely inappropriate for church. The last few weeks found us telling our kids, “we're going to have you guys stay home today- we aren't sure what the sermon would be rated.” Jokingly, but truthfully..
I continued to have that awful nagging peace-less feeling, and continued to follow the stories as they came out on the internet. It was easy enough to write off “Andrew's” story, being that it WAS one sided, who knows what really happened, etc. But as people started to come forward in droves, forming websites likehttp://marshillrefuge.blogspot.com and sharing testimonials on other blogs like Sophia'shttp://thewartburgwatch.com/2012/01/25/mark-driscolls-mars-hill-a-tutorial-on-spiritual-abuse/ and her husband'shttp://twocleareyes.blogspot.com/2012/01/mars-hill-altar-of-doctrine-and-occult.html Former Mars Hill Elder Bent Meyerhttp://thewartburgwatch.com/2012/01/30/fired-mars-hill-elder-breaks-his-silence/ Then another fired elder Paul Petry started a blog- complete with his testimonial, his wife's testimonial, timeline of events at MH and documents. http://joyfulexiles.com/ This in particular was compelling to me. When I read Jonna Petry's testimonial, it clicked I realized this was the answer to prayer that we had been seeking, though it wasn't the answer either of us had hoped for.

We realized, finally, that Mars Hill has a horrible pathology, one that will infect everyone associated with it and eventually it will take the whole thing down. God doesn't allow sin to exist unrepentantly and particularily in His church. And SO much was going on- The Church government structure having been altered to make it nearly impossible to fire Mark if he's out of line, Firing Godly men after threatening to have their reputation destroyed if they don't resign on their own, and them refusing. Explicit sex talk in community group and reading for CG, the complete inability to hold Mark accountable in ANY WAY. (Other than his hand picked group of elders, within a structure that doesn't really allow for him to be fired anyway!) The inability to have any kind of ACCESS to our supposed pastor. We can't walk beside him, watch him live, hold him accountable. That is CRITICAL for a pastor, for his own good, so accusations such as THIS can't be leveled against him without reason.

I sent a letter to my dear friends and Church family, including much of what is contained in this post, and additionally am going public with this testimony because I love my people- I love my church and I refuse to stand by and do nothing while it goes down in flames. As a regular person at Mars Hill, I don't have access to the upper leadership and I'm not sure it would make a difference even If I did. I have to be honest, I am afraid. I am afraid of losing my closest friends, i'm afraid of what the future holds, But I truly believe that this is the right thing to do- Both leaving our church that we love, and our friends, who probably aren't our friends anymore, and going public. Something needs to change. And though we are horribly sad we are hanging on to the promise of Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. And Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” I know that His Word is true and I know that He is faithful. I will be praying for Mars Hill, its people and its leadership. I would encourage anyone reading to do the same. Thanks for reading, 

Rebecca